Conquoring envy

Jealousy boils inside me
Like an ugly green beast
He should be calling me baby
Or holding my hand at least

Horrible thoughts enter my head
A devious plot to recieve him
A plan to get him to share my bed
To preform some blissful sin

A tiny kiss upon his lips
Will forever make him mine
And if her heart stops or rips
Than that will be just fine

I know this may sound selfish
But I don't care if it does
In my success I'll relish
While she longs for what he was

For Ashley

Hush little baby
Say your last word
And cry yourself to sleep
Go to a place deep in your mind
A place to sit and weep

A dreamland of broken things
Lost love, lost hope, lost life
A place where a siren sings
A sad song about a knife

Hush little baby
It'll all be over soon
You won't have to sit and suffer
All alone in this room

Take your razor
And bleed yourself to bed
They all think you're crazy
But soon enough, you'll be dead

A Hill So Far Away

I yearn for a pasture
Lying over the hill
A hill so far away
I peak over the edge of the windowsill
To fantasize about independence
It's lying just over a hill in the distance
A hill so far away
I am much to aware of my dwindling will
The will to get out of this place
When my mind begins to stray again
To that hill so far away
It strays to a place that is calm and fair
A place quite lovely and bright
I know that someday I'll get there
Over that hill so far away
But my journey is yet to end
I am still in this place of gloom
So I'll try to develope a plan to get free
But until then I'll pace this horrible room
And dream of a place that I'd rather be

Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

She swore she would never love again
Because the risk was much too high
She swore she would never take the fall
Because it would take too long to learn to fly
She swore she would never waste another tear
But the lonelyness made it hard not to cry
As soon as he stepped into her life
He made her change her mind
She decided to finally put down her knife
To take the chance to live or die

Sweet 16?

The only blood on my hands is my own
The noose which I meant to hang myself
Holds the thread that my stitches were sewn
I knew from that very first moment
When I picked up that sharp razor blade
I would deeply regret my bloody mistake
Just as soon as uphoria started to fade
Even after that very first cut
As blood seeped from the new wound
All hope was abandoned of escaping this rut
Because that razor blade had me swooned
Despite this night of my "sweet" sixteen
I am neither happy nor care free
Infact, I am bleeding and lonely
Oh yes, and happy birthday to me

Never Land

I'm sorry you think I'm full of shit
But maybe now that you took that hit
You can understand why I slit this wrist
To numb this pain
To keep me sane
To let it roll, and turn, and twist
To grant my first, and final wish
A brand new place, a different time
To banish all of my so-called rhymes
Just cart me off to the Land of Never
So that I can play pretend forever

Tongues like Razors

I'm laying on my bed
Trying to clam my pouding head
Just another night alone
And again these scars are shown
Sadly you will never see
Just how much you meant to me
So I'll lower this blade once more
To try and tally up your score
You're winning this game of Life
As you drain mine with your knife
The words slipping from your tongue
And like razor blades they stung
You made me hurt and cry
So that you could laugh and sigh
Sitting back to watch the show
My thick blood, red and slow
Flowing from my little wrist
Knowing that I won't be missed
You kicked me while I'm down
So in my pool of blood I'll drown
And yes I'm giving up this fight
So that I can finally say good night

Wish, To No Avail

I wish you would have loved me
I wish you would have cared
I wish you would have spent your nights
Wishing I was there
But now I sit here thinking
What didn't I do right?
And I think that you're to die for
So I think that I just might

Someday

My passion lies within this knife
With which I cut my soul
In hopes to one day be your wife
Only then shall I be whole
Tonight I lay my head to rest
And wish upon a star
To one day be without this pest
And move away real far
You, my love, hold a special key
To a secret place in my heart
A place very deep inside of me
That makes me hurt when we're apart
My dear, you see, I miss you
Oh please won't you come home?
I need you wrapped around me
So then I won't feel so alone

A New Place for My Heart

I'm putting my heart in my pocket
Where it should belong
To leave my sleeve forever
Where it was always treated wrong
Everyone said, "Don't ever say never"
But I will never be that strong
I can't take this over and over
With no rest
And always being sober
Always told that tomorrow will be best
And quickly losing all hope
Like sun lost after October
And so I sit around at home
Slowly losing all composure
Recalling all the lies
To realize I'm alone
And trapped inside my head
Forced to lie upon this bed
And wish that I was dead

The Witching Hour

As I sit around with light approaching
My only wish is to hear your voice
But when the night creeps in
This life is no longer my choice
Thirst for the innocent blood of your kind
It is you, my beloved, that I know I must find
I realize for my love to stay true
Killing you, is what I must do
The blood on my lips
Streaks down your neck as it drips
I know that if I could I would cry
And in losing true love,
Never again shall I try
Upon your lips I place a bloody kiss
As remorse spills from me
In a sudden low hiss
I should have stopped feasting
Deep down I know I could
But unfortunately I feel no regret
Because you tasted so damn good